Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
