goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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