I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
