This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize