You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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