did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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