I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
