the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
