My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
