If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
