just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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