He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
