i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
