do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
