Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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