tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
