i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
