Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
