What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I am midnight drunk by noon
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize