eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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