The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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