Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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