Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
