I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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