After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
