Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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