Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
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