what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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