I heard we made out
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
