Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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