wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
