In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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