It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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