I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
