we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
