Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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