don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
