I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
