If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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