so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
