Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
