I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
