Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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