i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
