Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
