I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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