How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
so let's talk penis.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
