i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
