Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
