i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize