So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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