How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
