I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
