i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
