I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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