Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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