we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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