and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
