no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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