I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
