if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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