i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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