dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
