went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
