I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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