I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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