No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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